And remember the wisdom of Groucho...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.


"Suffering is NOT the worst thing that can happen to us. Suffering because of a bad joke is"
(Lil' Sister Sirah 2002, 2003, 2004 & soon to be 2005)

DOES THIS TASTE FUNNY TO YOU?

TWO CANNIBALS WERE EATING A CLOWN, WHEN ONE TURNS TO THEOTHER AND SAYS: "DOES THIS TASTE FUNNY TO YOU?"

A lady is giving a party for her granddaughter and has gone all out - caterer, band and a hired clown. Just before the party starts, two bums show up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman tells them that they can get a meal if they will chop some wood out back. Gratefully, they head to the rear of the house.

Guests arrive, and all is going well, with the children having a wonderful time. But, the clown has not shown up and finally, the clown calls to report that he is stuck in traffic and will probably not make the party at all.

The woman is very disappointed and unsuccessfully tries to entertain the children herself. She happens to look out the window and sees one of the bums doing cartwheels across the lawn. She watches in awe as he swings from tree branches, does midair flips and leaps high in the air.

She speaks to the other bum and says, "What your friend is doing is absolutely marvelous. I have never seen such a thing. Do you think your friend would consider repeating this performance for the children at the party? I would pay him $50!" Other bum says, "Well, I dunno. Let me ask him."

He then turned to Willie and yelled, "Hey Willie! For $50, would you chop off another toe?"

(He would if he was an actor)



"Suffering is NOT the worst thing that can happen to us. Disobedience to God is the worst thing"
(Tom White 1970)

More froggie funnies...(or green guffaws)

I like to hospital one it makes me think of Mary.

What did one frog say to another?
You're such a WART!

Why did the frog croak?
Because he ate a poisonous fly!

What is a frog's favorite game?
Croaket

What did the frog order at McDonald's?
French flies and a diet Croak

What does a Romulan frog use for camoflage?
A croaking device!

What happened to the cat and frog when they got run over?
The cat had nine lives, the frog just croaked.

Why did the frog say meow?
He was learning a foreign language.

How come the frog didn't get to be the Easter Bunny?
Slippery hands...they were afraid he'd drop the eggs!

Why did the frog go to the hospital?
He needed a "hopperation" !


"Suffering is NOT the worst thing that can happen to us. Disobedience to God is the worst thing"
(Tom White 1970)

I update my list..

Yes I have already started updating my List so come back & check often.


"Suffering is NOT the worst thing that can happen to us. Disobedience to God is the worst thing"
(Tom White 1970)

What is it with actors?

A man went into the pet shop " I am playing Long John Silver in the local amateur dramatic societies version of Treasure Island and need a parrot to sit on my shoulder" he said."I don't have any parrots at the moment , but you wouldn't want a real parrot for that. It would squawk in all the wrong places , poop on your shoulder and generally be a nuisance. What you need is a stuffed parrot . Just as realistic and easily controlled.""Are you sure a stuffed parrot would be OK ? " asked the customer " I do want this performance to be as realistic as possible ."" I am sure a stuffed parrot would be fine " said the pet shop owner " I have one at home . I'll bring it in and if you come back on Thursday you can have it "." Sorry " said the customer " I can't make it on Thursday . That's the day I'm having my leg cut off ."


HA HA HA !!!



"Suffering is NOT the worst thing that can happen to us. Disobedience to God is the worst thing"
(Tom White 1970)

Another Fine Mess

A pirate and his parrot, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a valiant battle. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, the pirate stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a Genie came forth. This particular Genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving any thought to the matter the pirate blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into rum!" The Genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest rum ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the Genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of rum on the hull broke the stillness as the two considered their circumstances. The parrot looked disgustedly at the pirate and after a tension-filled moment spoke: "Now yee've done it!! Now we're goon to have to pee in the boat."


"Suffering is NOT the worst thing that can happen to us. Disobedience to God is the worst thing"
(Tom White 1970)

So sad..

THERE WAS AN ACTOR THAT WAS GREAT EVERY TIME HE REHEARSED ALONE IN FRONT OF A MIRROR. EVEN AT AUDITIONS AND REHEARSALS, HE WAS GREAT. BUT WHENEVER HE WAS IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE, HE WOULD FORGET HIS LINES AND TRIP WHILE WALKING ACROSS THE STAGE. IT'S A SHAME, BUT SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T ACT RIGHT IN PUBLIC.

"Suffering is NOT the worst thing that can happen to us. Disobedience to God is the worst thing"
(Tom White 1970)

Ribbit !

I love the one about the witch.

How can you tell if a frog doesn't have ears?
You yell "Free Flies" and he doesn't come.

How do you confuse a frog?
Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the corner.

How does a frog confuse you?
When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.


How do you apologize to a witch?
Ribbit!

What did the frog say to the fly?
You are really starting to bug me!

What does a frog say when it sees somethin' great?
Toadly awesome!

What do you call a frog with no legs?
It doesn't matter- he won't come anyway.

What do you call a frog with legs?
Dinner.



"Suffering is NOT the worst thing that can happen to us. Disobedience to God is the worst thing"
(Tom White 1970)

Halo 2 fever has gone too far..

Yes yes,

Halo 2 came out yesterday, My better half was so interested in it that she was actually on the air of a radio show discussing the new release.

My son (AKA "The Man Child") got his copy yesterday. I will assume he held it all night & slept with it like a teddy bear. I say that because his gaming unit was at MY house so I know he could look & touch but was unable to play (Y'all can tease him tonight as he still would not have been able to play yet).

And now my own neighbor (Lil' Sister Sirah to most of you) has dedicated a blog to Halo 2 (And Thanksgiving) what a combination.

But I'm sure before the weekend arrives I will partake in the play of this widely anticipated release.

Well T T F N

(I'm off to find more froggie funnies).


"Suffering is NOT the worst thing that can happen to us. Disobedience to God is the worst thing"
(Tom White 1970)

My Christmas List

1st I reserve the right to change, add, subtract or manipulate the list as often as i want to regardless of what effects it may have.


My Christmas List for 2004
Not in any specific order

1) Band of Brothers on DVD
2) Square Black Onyx Ring
3) Issey Miyake cologne
4) Tuscany cologne
5) Dodge Ram Quad-Cab
6) Lonestar’s Greatest Hits CD
7) $3.2 Million after Taxes
8) All expense 3 week vacation in Italy W/ Mawee
9) A Weekend get away to Palm Springs
10) My own home
11) My daughter being local to me
12) My parents being closer to me
13) No more lawsuits
14) My “kids” to truly be in love with God
15) I wish those who said they would move to Canada if Bush wins would leave already!
16) Some New Wranglers
17) New pair of rough out cowboy boots
18) To really become the man my wife thinks I am.
19) To win grants or scholarships to go back to school
either to teach or maybe seminary?
20) 1st 3 seasons of “24” on DVD
21) The 1st 3 Seasons of "Smallville"
22) A New Suit
23) LA Kings season tickets (Nose bleeds are fine)
24) ANAHEIM Angels season tickets (See above for seat preference)
25) A Mazda Miata or Dodge Durango for Mawee (Yes that would b a gift for me!)
26) English Bulldog
27) A Gortex Body suit for my Jukebox (Leather would be fine too)
28) A new Dell 8400 Desktop 'puter
29) An auto charger for my Jukebox
30) One of those "Tough Sheds" for my bikes & yard tools.
31) A Craftsman 6 Drawer Roll Away tool box
32) A 10 gl Wet/Dry shop-vac
33) Have my hot tub fixed
34) 10 or 12 New Dress shirts (get rid of the faded ragged ones).
35) Nice Camel color Mens Wool Over Coat


And I didn't even get insane here.....


"Suffering is NOT the worst thing that can happen to us. Disobedience to God is the worst thing"
(Tom White 1970)

Why did what? Cross where???

Here ya go Sirah, at yer request more cool jokes.

Why did the frog walk across the road?
He didn't... he jumped.

Why did the frog cross the street?
because the chicken crossed the road.

Why did the frog cross the road?
to see what the chicken was doing.

Why did the frog cross the road?
Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.

Why did the frog stop in the middle of the road?
To get hit by a steamroller

Why did the frog stay in the middle of the road?
He ran after a fly and was hit by a car.

Why did the frog cross the road?
If a chicken can do it so could he!

What is a frogs favorite time?
Leap Year!

Why did the frog go to the mall?
Because he wanted to go hopping.

I was walking down the alley one day and I saw a frog kicking a can. I asked him what he was doing.
He said, "I'm moving!"


Enjoy !

"Suffering is NOT the worst thing that can happen to us. Disobedience to God is the worst thing"
(Tom White 1970)

I ain't tricksen nobody...

I'm NOT the one who said it & I'm not the one who is addicted to it. I mean I know when the Raiders play, I know how many games the NHL has had to miss because of the strike. I even know when the season premiere of my fav show is & how long the 1st episode is.

So I ain't no tricksen anyones... :PPPPP

"Suffering is NOT the worst thing that can happen to us. Disobedience to God is the worst thing"
(Tom White 1970)

They're Gettin' Better

Of course you won't repeat those jokes, they're corny. Here are the good ones...

What happened to the frog's car when his parking meter expired?
It got toad!!

What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again?
A dirty double-crosser!

What's green green green green green?
a frog rolling down a hill


LOL... More for you to share

I think soon I'll need more Pirate jokes or maybe some Clown jokes too..


"Suffering is NOT the worst thing that can happen to us. Disobedience to God is the worst thing"
(Tom White 1970)

8 Frogs For Sister Sirah

Yes I have a HUGE supply of jokes just fer Sirah...


What do you say to a hitch-hiking frog?
Hop in!

What happens when two frogs collide?
They get tongue tied!

What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad!

What do frogs do with paper?
Rip-it!

What is the first book a tadpole reads?
Metamorphosis by Kafka.

How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg?
Unhoppy.

What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?
A rubbit!

Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes?
He liked a good croak and dagger.



"Suffering is NOT the worst thing that can happen to us. Disobedience to God is the worst thing"
(Tom White 1970)